Last updated on February 13th, 2017 at 03:45 pm

All too often parents become embroiled in bitter disputes with each other, sometimes venting their anger about the other in front of the children in an attempt to hurt their ex.

Separation is most certainly the hardest thing that a family has to go through. It’s a time where emotions are running high and things are often said in the heat of the moment – but once said they can’t be taken back.

Italian mother fined 30k euros

In December 2016 it was reported that an Italian lady was ordered by an Italian court to pay her ex husband 30,000 euros (£27,000) for continually ‘bad mouthing’ him in front of their children.  The family court in Rome clearly wanted to set a precedent and send out a warning to parents who attempt to hurt their former spouses by criticising them in front of their children.

In this case, the mother of 3 was accused of turning the children against their father to the point where the youngest child no longer wanted to see him.  In his judgment, the judge commented that the wife ‘clearly wanted to destroy the ex husband’s relationship with the children’.  Under Italian law the court can intervene in such cases with sanctions, but it’s the first time the Italian court has applied the law in this way.

Best interest of the children

In the UK, the Children Act 1989 (s1) provides a checklist of welfare issues that must be considered in relation to children.  These are:

• The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding).
• The child’s physical, emotional and/or educational needs.
• The likely effect on the child of any change in his circumstances.
• Their age, sex, background and any characteristics which the court considers relevant.
• Any harm that the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering.
• How capable each of the parents (and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant) is of meeting his needs.
• The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question.

The welfare of the child is the court’s paramount consideration and, whilst there is no mention specifically of maligning your ex, it will certainly not be looked upon favourably.

Will UK follow Italy’s lead?

It is possible that, with Brexit and Article 50 about to be triggered, changes to how the UK system works may come about and our courts may start to apply similar sanctions to those in Italy.  The Rome case was clear that mother’s behaviour was unacceptable and is a stark warning that such behaviour is not in the best interests of children.

You can read a recent article in the Telegraph following the chief executive of Cafcass’ suggestion that parental alienation, including ‘badmouthing’ your ex in front of your children, could be dealt with as a form of abuse or neglect.

Nicola Cancellara, family law solicitor, says:

“Is this a sign things are about to change? Alienating children from a parent isn’t the way forward. Regardless of one parent’s negative view of the other, children should not be involved as they need to maintain a relationship with both parents.”