Graysons Solicitors In The Press

Is your partner’s behaviour unreasonable?

I am often asked what constitutes unreasonable behaviour when it comes to obtaining a divorce. I represented a woman recently whose husband had become distant and showed a total lack of interest in family life. One Christmas Day, while their children were still young enough to believe in Santa Claus, she was preparing the Christmas dinner while the children played with their new toys. Suddenly she realised that her husband was not in the house and was nowhere to be found. A frantic search ensued and she eventually tracked him down to his local golf course. He had simply disappeared from the house without telling anyone and gone for a quick round. This became just one of a number of examples she cited when she petitioned him for divorce.

To obtain a divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour it must be shown that the marriage has broken down irretrievably and also that one of the parties has behaved in a manner so unreasonable that the other finds it intolerable to live with them.

We’ve all heard of cases where one partner is spending the money faster than the other one can earn it, which can be a valid reason if it leads to financial hardship. On the flip side, a commonly used reason for divorce is a partner being a workaholic and putting their career above the family, which again can be valid if they are neglecting their relationship with their spouse or their family life.

It is worth bearing in mind that the courts will usually grant a divorce even if the accusations are relatively mild, taking the pragmatic view that if one person feels strongly enough to issue divorce proceedings then the marriage has broken down irretrievably.

The problem is that nobody likes being accused of behaving unreasonably and will often feel that their partner has also behaved badly and is equally to blame. People often feel that they need to ‘defend’ a divorce based on allegations of unreasonable behaviour, particularly as they think it may affect the ultimate financial settlement. The truth is that who divorces whom, and importantly, the alleged behaviour involved, is largely irrelevant when it comes to dividing the finances of the marriage. It is usually in the client’s best interests to avoid protracted and expensive arguments over whose fault it is that the marriage has broken down. When it comes to dividing up the financial pot, it won’t make any difference.

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